And I'm back - today's issue? What do you do when you don't know what you do? I have teased in other posts that others don't know what I do, but I realize more and more every day that I don't have this figured out either. I believe it frustrates me just as much as it frustrates those around me.
I interviewed for a position I found online and the description was in line with my background and experience. I also had a familiarity with the organization so that inspired me to apply as well. I wasn't sure if I'd hear back after quickly submitting my information that way, but low and behold, before long I had a scheduled interview. The whole process was very positive and I felt like I had a good understanding of what I was about to take on so how in less than a year's time, has it all been turned upside down? Each day, my role is further blurred and each day I find that I step on more and more toes upsetting and most likely confusing my co-workers as well.
I truly don't know how I turned into a transponder, but call me "Bing" and slap me on the ass -some how it happened and I need to find direction ASAP.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
Confusion or Compliancy
I was at a jewerly party this weekend and a woman asked me what I do - I always answer the question the same way, "It's difficult to explain." and I then proceed to provide way more information than the person actually cared to know. Usually the person is just trying to make conversation. Unfortunately for this woman, she continued the line of questioning by following up with, "how does one get interested in that type of position?". I then spent even more time describing my rollercoaster ride through undergrad, internship, first full-time job and graduate studies. Poor woman!
Well for me, this conversation led me to thinking about my current situation. Am I simply confused on what I want and thinking way too much about it? Or am I complying with the role I have until I find my dream job (if there is such a thing)? My mom described what she felt life was like when she was my age and she explained how important family and home life was and still should be and that she doesn't understand a woman's worry about how well she's doing in her career. I guess I feel that women really do want to do it all and want to be the perfect mother and wife as well as advance to the next level and make a distinct impact at work, too. There are many women who could care less, but from my experience, there are quite a few of us who think we are super heroes or something and that we have more to prove than our counterparts - men - do.
Am I confusing my priorities and what I really am supposed to be concerned about? I'm not sure. Fortunately, I've always held jobs where I could fit in additonal education, a social life and now a family very easily. I'm generally able to adapt my schedule to my home life and balance hasn't really been a problem for me. However, daily I think about the positions I believe I should be in and maybe those types of positions wouldn't fit my family life. Maybe I should be grateful for what I have and stop worrying so much. Ok, but if you knew me, you'd know I worry about everything too much so this probably isn't the easy solution.
I wonder if there is a job out there that will satisfy me and I'm just waiting it out at this time. I'm just complying with it for now because eventually, the lightbulb will go off or the big door will finally open and I'll just take this world by storm and surprise everyone with what I can do! Or maybe compliance is my lot in life even though I just explained to my mom how each one of my immediate family members needs to stop doing just that. It seems we all have our moments when we just comply so we don't upset the apple cart (such an odd saying, but I suppose exploring where the heck that came from deserves a separate blog and post!). We comply or maybe it's 'settle' with a situation or a person just so things can continue to roll along smoothly.
Maybe the bottom line is I'm just confusing myself with this post so will just leave it this way for now. I'm confused and I'm complying - but I suppose I still have faith that I will find what I'm looking for and it will easily fall into my current lifestyle and I'll prove to myself and to others that it can be done. For now, I'll just continue to come to work each day and think about what I plan to do on the weekend.
Well for me, this conversation led me to thinking about my current situation. Am I simply confused on what I want and thinking way too much about it? Or am I complying with the role I have until I find my dream job (if there is such a thing)? My mom described what she felt life was like when she was my age and she explained how important family and home life was and still should be and that she doesn't understand a woman's worry about how well she's doing in her career. I guess I feel that women really do want to do it all and want to be the perfect mother and wife as well as advance to the next level and make a distinct impact at work, too. There are many women who could care less, but from my experience, there are quite a few of us who think we are super heroes or something and that we have more to prove than our counterparts - men - do.
Am I confusing my priorities and what I really am supposed to be concerned about? I'm not sure. Fortunately, I've always held jobs where I could fit in additonal education, a social life and now a family very easily. I'm generally able to adapt my schedule to my home life and balance hasn't really been a problem for me. However, daily I think about the positions I believe I should be in and maybe those types of positions wouldn't fit my family life. Maybe I should be grateful for what I have and stop worrying so much. Ok, but if you knew me, you'd know I worry about everything too much so this probably isn't the easy solution.
I wonder if there is a job out there that will satisfy me and I'm just waiting it out at this time. I'm just complying with it for now because eventually, the lightbulb will go off or the big door will finally open and I'll just take this world by storm and surprise everyone with what I can do! Or maybe compliance is my lot in life even though I just explained to my mom how each one of my immediate family members needs to stop doing just that. It seems we all have our moments when we just comply so we don't upset the apple cart (such an odd saying, but I suppose exploring where the heck that came from deserves a separate blog and post!). We comply or maybe it's 'settle' with a situation or a person just so things can continue to roll along smoothly.
Maybe the bottom line is I'm just confusing myself with this post so will just leave it this way for now. I'm confused and I'm complying - but I suppose I still have faith that I will find what I'm looking for and it will easily fall into my current lifestyle and I'll prove to myself and to others that it can be done. For now, I'll just continue to come to work each day and think about what I plan to do on the weekend.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)